Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
