drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
