I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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