I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
