People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
