Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
