okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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