The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
