.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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