I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
