Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
