I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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