ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
