Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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