I think my vagina is haunted
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
