hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so that wasnt chicken after all
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
