If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize