Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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