Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
