your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
