Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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