Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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