I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
