playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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