I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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