First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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