Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
