Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
