making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
