I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
