am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
