everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
