My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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