My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
what day is it and did you see me today?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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