Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
