do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
