dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
