We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
