The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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