good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
