dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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