D3 body, D1 cock
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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