Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
