I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize