You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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