You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
