its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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