omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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