I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
