Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
