Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When are your genitals available?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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