this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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