It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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