How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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