in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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