You're a womanizer and a bitch.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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