Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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