Your tits are I can't wait for
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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