11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
White coat. Heels.
Michael Bay diarrhea
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
