How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Non-Jews are for practice
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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