i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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