i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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