Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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