Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
