Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
