we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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