no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
