The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
