i think my tv is drunk
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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