Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
