i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize